There have been many posts from many bloggers regarding their misshapen carrots. Now, for me, I've always found the messed up, the deformed and the rejected somewhat attractive and interesting. Whether it be finding a parsnip that is very twisted with stumpy roots so as to create a scene that resembles the wedding feast at Cana, or indeed seeing a monkey with one arm, I can't help but feel somewhat attracted.Whilst not wishing to come across as a weirdy-man, in my youth I met a girl with one eye. When in casual mode - as she was when I met her - she wore an eye-patch. It was nothing fancy, just a plain black eye-patch. I knew her through other friends, but every time I saw her I just thought she was stunning looking. It wasn't the actual eye-patch; she just looked stunning. I asked her out, and to my surprise she accepted.
When we met up, she had a glass eye in. Now, I once had an uncle with a glass eye (by that I mean he died so I have him no more; not that he was only my uncle once). His artificial optic was a different colour to his real eye, plus it always seemed to be looking at the corner of the room. The white of the eye was yellow, and it bulged, as if it was too big. I think he must have lost his original and bought the one I saw from a second-hand glass eye retailer. Anyway, her glass eye was perfect; you couldn't tell it from her real one.
As we had dinner, I couldn't work out why she didn't look so stunning. I didn't attribute it to the eye until later. There was something about her that just didn't have that striking quality.
We didn't see each other again. It wasn't because of the eye, though. It was because she went through several of bottles of wine before screaming at a waiter because he'd had the audacity to forget to serve her dinner (she'd already eaten it by this point).
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, carrots. So, having viewed everyone's twisted and malformed carrots, I was looking forward to my own being unearthed. Okay, they'd be a bugger to peel, but imagine the fun of discovering what strange thing each one resembled.
The fateful day approached. Mrs IG held the basket, and I started pulling (oh, stop giggling, you bloody children). Out came the first one. Straight! Never mind, it was a fluke, obviously. I tugged on the second. There was little resistance. It was straight too. And the next! All of them, straight!
That said, I still enjoyed them. I've never known carrots taste so ... carroty! It's decided; a second 'winter' sowing is going in this weekend!
Oh, you're a lucky one! Straight, healthy carrots and happily married to someone who doesn't mind gardening or your attraction to one-eyed women. It's probably a good thing the stunner got sloshed and spoiled your date. Otherwise, you'd only have the straight, healthy carrots to talk about.
ReplyDeleteDear IG, Try by all means but you cannot fool me.........straight as a ruler, uniformly orange, fresh green foliage with just a touch of rich earth and a carroty taste ........yes, I know a Waitrose carrot when I see one!
ReplyDeleteWalk2Write, Mrs IG has to deal with a lot more than gardening and an attraction to one-eyed women!
ReplyDeleteEdith, I must admit that on reading your comment, I laughed so hard I spat a mouthful of beer (just testing the latest batch of course) across the laptop! Funnily enough, I do use Waitrose because it keeps me away from the screaming brats. That said, I shun the 'organic' section!
Perfectly lovely carrots, Idiot. I feed my misshapen ones to my rabbit, as I hate cleaning and scraping the deformed ones.
ReplyDeleteYou must have perfect loamy soil and spaced the seeds just so. I think the quirky carrots grow that way because they run into a rock in the soil or are too close to each other. Just a thought if you truely want strange carrots but I'm with Annie's Granny, the deformed ones are a pain to clean!
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike, just bought some more seed this week. Is it psychosomatic or do you feel as if the windows have been washed when you eat fresh home grown carrots? And will you ever forgive me for the truncation of your trombonchini?
ReplyDeleteLovely carrots you have their IG, one thing we dont seem very good at growing down here!
ReplyDeleteToo late. I already think of you as a weirdy-man.
ReplyDeleteGreat carrots and they do taste so incredible straight from the plot. I'm attempting some long carrots this year. I pulled one that had gone to seed a few weeks ago and it was 22 inches long. My fear is when I come to pull the rest in a few weeks they'll have good length but the girth of a toothpick!
ReplyDeleteJust had a quick visit after linking from Damo's site - loved the post so I'll be back for a better read later
ReplyDeleteTwo ladies were harvesting carrots when one pulled out a mammoth two footer. " This reminds me of my husbands " she exclaimed waving it about. " What the size of it " asks her friend. " No the dirt of it " she replies !!!
ReplyDeleteSo you're attracted to pirates, eh? That's no big thing.
ReplyDeleteWhen you talk about Mrs IG, I always get this vision of her standing there, staring hard at you with her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in a 'Do you really think that's a good idea?/What have you done now?' sort of way. But she's always beautiful in my head. From the description of your own character, now I have to add a peg-leg to that image. Now she's beautiful with a peg-leg. That she pokes you with when you're about to do something Idiotic.
You'd love NC to grow carrots in. The soil is really nasty thick clay, so carrots are notorious for turning out deformed.
Your carrots are amazing and, yes, photogenic, IG ... very impressed! Nothing beats the taste of a carroty carrot!
ReplyDeleteDear IG,
ReplyDeletealthough it was quite perfect I knew that something was missing in wonderful Berlin: your blog! Reading it here in Hamburg my husband knew what I was doing (no puns, please!): sitting in front of my computer and giggling means: I'm at it- again! Do I remember it rightly that your brother won't accept those carrots? Britta
The winter before last winter, I sowed some "heirloom" carrot seeds with fashionably elegant names like "Paris Market," "St. Valery," and "Dragon" in my vegge bed. Months later, their billowy, prolific carrot tops were so lush and green that I thought it high time to harvest before they went south with the scorching hot weather. Sadly, every single one I pulled out was about the size of my pinky. Conclusion? Size does matter, and I suck at growing carrots.
ReplyDeleteI have some carrot seedlings coming up that were sown on earlier this month. I ♥ misshapen veggies. If any of them come out shaped like I boot, I will tell the whole world!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that you must be very clean in your beds. No nuggets of rock for your carrots to deviate around. I still question your idiocy. Your blog should be called "The Gardener who knew too much but didn't want to admit it". UDG
ReplyDeleteYou're carrots look amazing.
ReplyDelete